Hair today - gone today!

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Bed Head?

so, lately i have been awaking with that ever so popular phenom known as, simply :

"bed head".

you know, when you hair decides to have it's own "fashion show sense of hilarity" obviously while you are soundly sleeping... because you never remember walking that catwalk, or sitting in the chair where the little "all the rage today" hair sty-leest of the absolute moment, tortures your hair into the positions that...

not even ANY amount of Aqua Net Super Industrial Liquid Lacquer as if sprayed from a fire hose or gel from hell itself can produce if you wanted to on your own anyway.... much less any amount of water and scrubbing when waking can reduce either before heading for morning coffee to prepare to go back and relieve your scalp of it's offense incurred last night.

now, for me - who is in all reality these days "hair deficient" - it comes really, as a shock to see it when i awake, stumble into the bathroom to relieve myself (maybe the bathroom trip is due to the champagne i don't remember drinking also all night during the fashion show described above?), and turn around to see an image reflected back from the mirror - that is at most - me? ; but is always enough to shock you then dead awake.

i mean, afterall, my hair is not much more than three measly quarters of an inch long at it's most, and that is only in the back and sides of my thickest thickets (hengh?) left from the migration from the top of said head to those sides and back now (is it gravity? is it lack of nutrients in my diet? is it just heredity afterall... i had hair down to nearly my ass crack when a younger man - thick, luxurious, full yet unruly also kept in de-riguer ponytail style so popular first in the seventies, then eighties then cut so very short when i got tired of it in my mouth gagging while i slept...)... so i cannot comprehend how it gets to its' current state of affairs the last few mornings....

out comes the Conair trimmer, Model # HC200 - second only to the legendary WAHL trimmer and it's offspring made forever famous by the "stubble cut" Don Johnson sported thru the career of pastel jackets with sleeves just so at the elbow, facial tonsorial splendours that was and always be -

Miami Vice at it's best hedonistic era...

and none of those confounded clip on attachments for me no sir!, just set that cutting/grabbing/sawing toothy metal shearing edge at "less than zero" and hit the head..... start at the sides, up then over the thinning field of play, then to the back and up and over,watch those ears now - looking like a taxi cab

going down the street with it's doors open (i dunno - something my dad used to say, ears sticking out and all that) - and all the while watching the little clumps of short hairs (no, not those "short hairs" - nothing electrically powered goes near there.. "cutting" anyways) ; which look so much darker once sheared than when still attached to my forlorn, now shorn; graying at the temples head.

but once done - i forever hear inside same said shorn head while looking intently in the mirror for those strays that always seem to escape those shearing metal teeth and stand alone proudly in defiance of the rest laid waste around them...the voice that makes me giddy to hear it:

"yep, you sure clean up nice now and then!"

ahhh, the sound of one who cared enough to tell me that i look good with, now very little or even sometimes no hair when the shaver gets a shot at my pate to leave it slick and shiny... bald as a newborns backside, and truthfully? ..... just as soft!

i much prefer it this way, no extra expense for shampoo or conditioners every day, and "bald" goes with any fashion sense really, and that is of course -

where i make my little turn on the catwalk...

bring on the party tonite -

i'm ready for you!

title generated thru the use of:

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

a great little timewaster of a site, guaranteed to give you a giggle or laugh dependant upon the chosen word submitted to "sloganize", or at the very least a huge ego boost if you merely insert your name here - and who doesn't love THAT?

samples generated for todays post?

How Many Licks Does It take To get To The Center Of A Bed Head?

It Makes You Bed Head Smack.

And All Because the Lady Loves Bed Head.

Theres Only One Bed Head.

Got Bed Head?