today decides what my future holds........

... today i have a doctors' appointment to decide what my "permanent disability" status and rating will be, and as such - shall dictate what my future holds as far as "working doug" becomes... and of course helps to define what my award shall be when it is given in january at last. (anyone wishing more on this story line can view it on the MySpace'>http://blog.myspace.com/bdvsteegh">MySpace

blog posts where i post my "former" work related issues...)

so i am a bit off in my posting, expressing sorrow to all i slight by not being diligent enough in my posts and am tired

( read this as a GOOD tired though!)

from a weekend spent with a loved one where i gave a much needed shoulder (as well as a much missed one!) while she grappled with a very large emotional issue that effectively affected her,

and almost as if it had been planned by the "inflictee" to do just what it did... i was there to help assuage her fears and set her smiling again...

but that is a whole different story not to be related here, just suffice to say that i did what was needed of and by me and it worked wonderfully for both of us to have this time together again.

for this alone - i (and she) are/am very happy!

i am, of course though; worried a wee bit about this impending doctor review - but having more doctor's phone numbers now in my cell phone than i have friends and family combined,

it should be just another day in a waiting room, just another hour of time to get to my final destination at last.

worried because - this IS the one that will decide that future i want and desire/deserve to have back finally, and will help to knock down those additional stresses that sap my will at times

and make me wish to stay hidden away

and just let the world revolve beyond me.

but i have many, many friends out here and beyond in that same world

- that wait with the very same baited breath as i,

and i know that thier support is more than enough also to keep me keeping on... thanks to all and you have my unending and undying gratitude if i haven't already thanked you enough as of yet!

...so, i shall return later today to regale you with more, and for those who notice such things - i have finally and succesfully installed my "blogroll me!" link , and can only hope it is working at last........

somewhere to the left there according to my template anyway!

more later, doug.